We celebrated Hayden's 5 month birthday on Sunday, January 17th. FIVE MONTHS! Can you believe it? Matt, Hayden and I were taking a walk when Matt looked down at Hayden and said "Hayden, do you remember when you used to grunt all night long?" Although I remembered the horrible nights of constant grunting once Matt mentioned it, up until that point I had completeley forgotten about it. Completely forgotten! Those were the days when I was sure I was not going to survive Hayden's infancy. All of the sleepless nights (and days), the constant feelings of inadequacy and the anxiety. I am not sure when it happened, but gradually it all just stopped. Sure, I still feel anxious and inadequate at times, but it is no longer all-consuming.
So apparently you DO forget (my sisters were VERY right), and in the process, your baby grows and thrives and becomes an amazing little person who does amazing little things and constantly surprises you every minute of every day. You forget the bad and remember all of the joys of their infancy. You remember your tiny little baby cooing and looking up at you and you forget about the 3AM calls to the pediatrician simply because the baby wont stop crying (clearly I haven't forgotten that, but I am getting there).
Even though I know I wont remember all of this, I am so thankful that I will remember the best of it. I would be lying if I said that every day was great, but at least I can't remember why it was so awful at the time. Maybe that is what parenting is all about: selective memory. For my mom and dad's sake, I hope so!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Judgement day
Two stories.
The first takes place at the pediatrician's office. It was an exceptionally busy day and Hayden had the luck of sitting next to a 7 month old boy. They were chatting it up, screaming and laughing at each other when I noticed the young dad slapping the baby's fingers out of his mouth each time he attempted to suck on them. The baby didn't seem to notice much, but clearly, it was unacceptable in their family to suck your thumb or any other finger for that matter. I remembered how proud I was when Hayden started sucking his fingers and was automatically offended by this kids parents. I looked down at Hayden happily sucking on all 4 of his fingers at once and wondered, what was this dad thinking of my parenting?
The next story is one many of you already know about. It takes place at the women's lounge in Nordstrom. I was feeding Hayden his bottle of formula when the lady sitting across from me looked me in the eyes and said "So, you already gave up on breastfeeding, huh?" I was enraged at her allegation because, clearly, she had no concern for my feelings, especially the fact that I had to stop breastfeeding due to Hayden's weight loss. She had no idea how her judgement was a direct and hard blow to me and my parenting skills. She had no idea that the lactation consultant had been over twice, or that I became so obsessed with pumping 5-6 times a day that I was missing out on time I could have been playing with or holding Hayden. She had no idea, but she still judged me to my face and it hurt.
The point is, whether it is within the mind or it slips out of the mouth, your parenting is judged more than anything else you will ever do in your life. Even more than high school kids judge each other! And while we are busy silently or openly judging each other, we should be supporting each other, because in all honesty, parenting is damn hard. It is not intuitive, it is trial and error and stumbling on the best thing that works for your family. It is not what your mom did or your sister did or your friend did, it is what you figured out for yourself and your baby. And in the process of figuring it out, we all make mistakes and we all look like terrible parents in someone else's eyes.
So I have vowed not to judge other parents-no matter what kind of "bad parenting" they exhibit. I realize that my parenting will continue to be judged: when Hayden is crying in a restaurant or having a temper tantrum during his terrible twos or spitting up all over the place, but other people's judgment doesn't make me a bad mom. As long as I know this, I think we are going to be OK.
The first takes place at the pediatrician's office. It was an exceptionally busy day and Hayden had the luck of sitting next to a 7 month old boy. They were chatting it up, screaming and laughing at each other when I noticed the young dad slapping the baby's fingers out of his mouth each time he attempted to suck on them. The baby didn't seem to notice much, but clearly, it was unacceptable in their family to suck your thumb or any other finger for that matter. I remembered how proud I was when Hayden started sucking his fingers and was automatically offended by this kids parents. I looked down at Hayden happily sucking on all 4 of his fingers at once and wondered, what was this dad thinking of my parenting?
The next story is one many of you already know about. It takes place at the women's lounge in Nordstrom. I was feeding Hayden his bottle of formula when the lady sitting across from me looked me in the eyes and said "So, you already gave up on breastfeeding, huh?" I was enraged at her allegation because, clearly, she had no concern for my feelings, especially the fact that I had to stop breastfeeding due to Hayden's weight loss. She had no idea how her judgement was a direct and hard blow to me and my parenting skills. She had no idea that the lactation consultant had been over twice, or that I became so obsessed with pumping 5-6 times a day that I was missing out on time I could have been playing with or holding Hayden. She had no idea, but she still judged me to my face and it hurt.
The point is, whether it is within the mind or it slips out of the mouth, your parenting is judged more than anything else you will ever do in your life. Even more than high school kids judge each other! And while we are busy silently or openly judging each other, we should be supporting each other, because in all honesty, parenting is damn hard. It is not intuitive, it is trial and error and stumbling on the best thing that works for your family. It is not what your mom did or your sister did or your friend did, it is what you figured out for yourself and your baby. And in the process of figuring it out, we all make mistakes and we all look like terrible parents in someone else's eyes.
So I have vowed not to judge other parents-no matter what kind of "bad parenting" they exhibit. I realize that my parenting will continue to be judged: when Hayden is crying in a restaurant or having a temper tantrum during his terrible twos or spitting up all over the place, but other people's judgment doesn't make me a bad mom. As long as I know this, I think we are going to be OK.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'
handsome boy
looks like Hayden will have hazel eyes like his daddy
strong boy!
I wont be on my back much longerIt's official, Hayden is rolling over like crazy. At first, he couldn't keep his hands out of his mouth, making it very difficult to successfully turn over. Amazingly, within a day, he had it completely figured out and now he's a real pro (see videos below). Now he'll do anything he can to get on his tummy. He tries to roll when he is in my lap, in the tub, in the crib and on the floor. We are wondering if this means his time in "chairy" (his swing and 3rd parent) is short-lived.
His other new trick is producing a huge poopy diaper first thing in the morning-I am thankful that Matt gets him out of his crib these days!
His other new trick is producing a huge poopy diaper first thing in the morning-I am thankful that Matt gets him out of his crib these days!
His new foods are zucchini (yum), sweet peas (yum), avacados (yuck) and apples (maybe). Next things on the list are butternut squash and pears. Hayden eats much healthier that Matt and I, but we are trying to follow his lead. Thankfully, we feel like Hayden is thriving on these new foods!
We are gearing up for Matt's first birthday as a dad! I have lofty goals of cooking him a lobster dinner, but we will see if I can pull it off.
Friday, January 1, 2010
2010
Happy New Year! Our New Year's morning started just like any other morning-Hayden screaming in his crib. But this morning the cry was a bit more intense and I, admittedly, was a little sluggish from staying out untill 11:15pm on New Year's Eve (that's right, I did say 11:15PM), so it took me a little longer to prepare his bottle and rescue him from his crib prison. Instead of being greeted by the usual big morning smile, I was greeted by a baby on his stomach! I freaked out a little at the sight of it because he was somewhat contorted, but when I realized that he had actually flipped himself from his back to his tummy, I felt really proud. Then, I began to freak out. I mean, this is the beginning of mobility in Hayden's world and frankly, I am not ready for him to be mobile just yet. In the past 2 weeks he is doing all of these amazing, big boy things: eating solids, turning over and grabbing his feet. It's a bit much for 2 weeks work.
As I look at him now, I realize that he isn't a little baby anymore, he's a little person with a big personality. I look down at him when he is laying in my lap and I am amazed at how much he has grown and how different he is now compared to 4 months ago-it seems like such a short time to have done so much. It makes me realize how precious this time is and how quickly he will move onto the next phase. Don't blink!
Speaking of growing, Hayden went to the Doctor for his weekly weigh in on Wednesday and he is almost 14Lbs! As most of you know (especially if you have spent any length of time holding him in recent months) Hayden is a spitter, and he was having some issues with weight gain because of it. After starting rice cereal in his bottle and vegetables he has been doing great. He is still spitting up like crazy and going through about 7-8 bibs a day, but as long as he is gaining weight, he can spit up all he wants! Supposedly, 4 months is the peak of spitting up in babies and I hope so because we are going to need a new couch or, maybe, a whole new house after he finishes "peaking".
We had our black-eyed peas for good luck and cabbage for wealth and our brisket for God knows what (probably a heart attack), so we are ready for 2010. We hope you are too.
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